Higgs Boson and Eveready !

A few days back the whole world woke up to a great news : the discovery of the God particle or the Higgs Boson. It was yet another giant leap for mankind in the scientific space. Discoveries and inventions like these make the earlier discoveries and inventions seem dwarfed, no doubt on that.

My scientifically challenged mind does not have the fathom to comprehend the vastness of its implications and I salute the great scientists who make all these possible. Having said that, I have one small desire from the scientists. Sometime in their spare time, maybe in the small time that they have between brushing their teeth in the morning and sipping their morning cuppa, they should bring out one small invention which will benefit simple people living in the towns and villages in times of need.

No I am not gunning for a thing which will zap all of us , bring us out of our dreams and turn the world into a better living place- the great scientists are anyway toiling at that. I am talking of the humble flashlight or torchlight or whatever name you call it in whatever language you so desire.

Well I have seen all types: from the big sturdy ones which need five batteries and weigh a kilogram to the small ones that fit in your pouch or your palm powered by almost unseen button-cells. I have seen and used all types and makes manufactured in all countries from the legendary Japan or Germany to the ubiquitous Chinese or the Indian ones. All of them have one thing in common. Apart from that being a bulb (or a LED for that matter), they also have the unique feature of not working when you need them most.

I remember having one which was so sturdy and dependable that you could really depend on it for dear life. Except when on that stormy night when the lights go out , that is. That is the time when our dear friend decides to have a siesta.

Or the puny sized one , placed on a key chain , enabling you to open the door in the dark- it works as a demo, works as a showpiece but is actually scared of the dark.

I am yet to see one which is “eveready” in the true sense of the word…..

Football Mania !

The football fever of the Euro Cup is over. Over almost a month the most competitive teams all over Europe clashed on the football field to establish supremacy on the continent, albeit on the field.

In India of course there is a miniscule population which is swayed by the trance of this magic simple game, favouring for the more complex cricket. It is really odd that the game which enthralls millions all over the world fails to attract the attention of the Indian masses. I often wonder whether it has to do with the pathetic situation of the national football team or is this something more deep-rooted.

This year’s championship had its usual share of fun and upsets. Spain was clearly the favourites from the start; however, many were rooting for a Spain – Germany clash in Kiev. But as we all saw, in the semis a hurricane called Balotelli did them in. Last Sunday Spain finished their campaign in style, with a margin of four, literally hanging the Italy squad out to dry ! One of my Spanish friends have written to me recently that the nation has become so excited with the win that they have momentarily forgotten their economic troubles !

Coming from that miniscule portion of Indians who is also entranced by football, notwithstanding the fact that our national team is nothing to talk about, I tried my best to follow the matches, with whatever next day’s routine would allow, what with the time difference and matches starting at midnight.

And then I wait for World Cup !

Every time I watch international football on television, I cannot wonder why the football coaches, be it the national team or the clubs, are fully attired in Monday office gear on the sidelines. Strategists that they are with all due regards to them, I cannot understand why they have to sit in the dug-out in a suit and a tie and occasionally breaking off into a jig when their team scores one too many. It is indeed a bit funny, however like many things in the universe, it is beyond me to understand.

Horn OK Please !

The roads in Mumbai are divided. It is also true for all major cities in India. The divide is very sharp and contrasted between the haves and have-nots. I am not talking about the hordes of beggars and unfortunate shelter-less people and the ones driving by in their cushy limousines.

I am referring to the two broad categories that are unleashed on the roads of this maximum city almost every day: the ones who honk and the ones who don’t.

When man started the process of invention of the automobile or the earlier horse drawn carriage to be precise, the horn preceded the engine ! So there was this horse drawn carriage in mid seventeenth century with a loud bugle to warn off the pedestrians that the carriage is on its way. Many many years later, and after experimenting with thousand of variations we have today what is called as the electric motor horn.

In countries like India , with the roads ever congested, sometimes it is like you can drive perhaps with a cranky engine but you cannot take the vehicle out if the horn is not in perfect order. You do not know when you need it next !

On the roads we have a category of drivers who think that honking loudly and repeatedly will give them instant way and all the traffic jams will be a thing of the past. So when you have scores of cars lined up in front of you trying to navigate through the roads like a thousand footed centipede and you cannot afford to step on the accelerator, what do you do ? Honk of course !!

Then there is the other variety who thinks that once you have honked the responsibility of saving his or her life rests with the pedestrian and it is immediate right of way for them.

The third variety is those who can see the counter at the signal counting down to zero to turn from red to green but feel that honking a few times may actually speed up the laboriously slow method of down counting to zero.

Some use the horns for everything- whether it is for reversing the car or to signal to the friend or relative vigorously waving goodbye on the sidewalk or to just say hello to your friend who is in the next lane in the traffic snarl- just to give company on a boring day…

It is not for nothing that we have graffiti on trucks – Horn OK Please ! Time as a nation we patented this phrase as it amply sums up what we do on the roads.