My existence is at a threat. No, I am not being pessimistic to suggest anything sinister about my journey on the face of Mother Earth. I am talking about my existence on the records of Government of India.
“Stand up to be counted !” is what I had heard long ago from wise people. Well I did stand and did that several times: I stood under the unrelenting sun beating down on my head on an April afternoon or braved the rains of July or maybe queued up on a cold January morning, wishing that it was far better to stay indoors and savour a cup of hot tea. But every time I did stand to get counted the end result seems to be sinisterly the same.
Many many years ago I remembered having joined the serpentine queues to get the necessary paper work and get photographed to get the coveted Voter Indentity Card, being issued by the government. Having completed all my formalities I triumphantly came home , assured that soon I will have the coveted document which will ensure that only I can exercise my fundamental right against my name.
Well the government folks (I do not think in those days the exercise was franchised – though I may be wrong) did not like my ugly mugshot at all and therefore decided not to make a card with that ugly face. So they put my neighbour’s photo with my name, hoping at least now I will get the hint.
Well after lodging the complaint my only card that I ever received was taken back, never to come back again. Being of the nomadic variety and never much having believed in the permanency of permanent addresses, maybe the rightful claimant of the correct card could not be contacted by the governmental machinery.
After this on two other occasions at two different states did I try the same but could never get the coveted card in my hands.
Some months ago I laboriously filled up the form and queued up for getting my Aadhar Card. Things definitely looked more organized this time and they gave me an appointment with an efficiency and sincerity akin to the office of a top surgeon, to come and get myself photographed on a preset data and time. Dressed in my best and having had the closest shave ever (pun not intended) I went to the center only to find myself confronted with a notice scribbled on a sheet of paper that the center had decided to close down and move to happier locales. No one seems to be knowing when and where they will come back. The website is devoted to self praise and nothing much beyond.
Recently I came across an advertisement in the newspapers that there is another scheme ongoing called RDC (or some such mumbo jumbo) which everyone must partake of , Adhar or no Adhar ! Once bitten, twice shy they say- in my case it is many times bitten hence I decided to give it a miss.
I am convinced that the governmental machinery has a bee under its bonnet when it comes to me and it is best that the twain never meet.
The only exception when the governmental super-computers go berserk and literally start a adrenalin crazed tarantula war dance is when my puny little PAN number flashes on any transaction – it is that time when they work very efficiently.
The reason is simple: it is payback time !
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