Thursday, 25 June 2015

Oxymorons for the morons


When I was in school my good teachers taught me a lot of grammar , some of which I could learn and retain. One of things I recall having learnt was the oxymoron. We had various examples of it also.

But never knew that sometime so much later, we would have a new example to contend with. And a real life example at that !

As per the dictionary meaning of Subsidy is “A benefit given by the government to groups or individuals usually in the form of a cash payment or tax reduction. The subsidy is usually given to remove some type of burden and is often considered to be in the interest of the public”

Another term we have is VIP. Although not a word to the true sense of the word, it means “A person of great importance or influence, especially a dignitary who commands special treatment “

Now the question comes – can a person who demands treatment and enjoys privilege as a VIP (the stress here is on the word “demand”) can also qualify for a subsidy ? And is that in the interest of the public ?

Our parliamentarians declare their assets before elections which for most run into such astronomical numbers that you sometimes misinterpret it as turnover of a company or business. Once they become parliamentarians they become VIP, throw their weight around (sometimes both figuratively and literally ) and demand privileges which are not for the common man. And then they have subsidy for their meals ! The subsidy bleeds the exchequer by Rs.60 Crores a year !

In a country where millions do not have enough to feed their families, where babies die out of malnourishment, where families lose their loved ones as they do not have enough to pay for medicine, where death is sometimes welcomed to get rid of this life of penury for some ! In the same country, we have people coming in BMW, Toyota Fortuner and eat meals at this kind of subsidized prices.

VIP Subsidy- the new oxymoron ? The ultimate moron becomes the tax payers !

Definitely maybe !

Saturday, 28 February 2015

Who is a VIP ?


There are currently a lot of discussions on the media regarding the rampant misuse of facilities by politicians , their kith and kin and entourage and the VIP culture. I fully support this campaign and wish well for the media in their crusade against this obnoxious practice that people in power of all hues and kind abuse in this country.

In one of the recent debates, there was a politician who was arguing about the status of the position making him VIP. Well I really wonder who actually is a VIP ? When I look at myself in the mirror in the morning after a shave the narcissistic bit in me actually throws back an image of the biggest VIP in the world. So I should also get all the privileges rather than waiting at endless queues and paying endless tolls and other taxes !

While on the way to office I see a mother escorting her small child to school. To her the biggest VIP in the universe is her little child. The street dog waits for the kind soul across the road to throw bits of last night’s dinner and scraps of bread- his provider of food and therefore the biggest VIP in his life.

So the status of the VIP is such that every one of us is a VIP at a given circumstance. But we neither get any privileges nor need any favours. But then why do the elected representatives , by virtue of their position , choose to behave as if they are from some crazy monarchy and behave like King Canute ? Any slightest hint of taking away these privileges sends them into a tizzy as if they cannot live life without crutches. Obnoxious to say the least and given that ultimately the law makers are these who actually abuse the law the most, this lal-batti menace is not easy to wish away. Many such crusades will be required to bring some semblance of responsibility in these Very Inadequately-educated Persons- a new type of VIP indeed. This society would well deserve a few lesser of them.

 

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Time Machine


School days – the very thought of this today ignites a blast of memories from the past in me. And the good thing about old memories- we generally forget the imperfect , the unfortunate and gloat over the good. Good. The older I become , which we all do with certainty every passing day, the fonder the school becomes.

 

Those were really the halcyon days: days of gay abandon, days when we could do anything and everything with carefree spirit. But the funny part is , when I think about it now, at that point of time we all wanted to quickly grow up and become adults ! To come out of school and become adults in this serious grim world !

 

Talking now about those days today brings back glimpses from the labyrinth of my memory, some hilarious, some shocking, some pure adulterated fun. These parts of my memory was numbed in these decades and are brought back to the fore as I bump into school-mates whom I have not met for decades ! Hours pass by as we dive together in the past, out comes black and white photos , now yellowish with age, photos where sometimes I cannot even recognize myself.

 

In such deep dives, one of the commonest subject of our discussion is our school headmaster, Late Rev Fr. Wautier. From those days in kindergarten till almost we were out of school we had this magnificent administrator, a man whom we have always respected, feared at times, fond as we grew up and idolized in our own way. We saw him from close and feared his strict discipline but admired his vivacious energy. We can almost see his Vespa parked in the corner, the cigar in the corner of his mouth and the key-bunch dangling on a chain from his pocket as he walks past.

 

And such millions of other memories flash by, big small and sundry.

 

The past has come back to us now, with technology uniting a handful of old (young?) balding school-mates pushing fifty, who are now dispersed in various sections of the world and the first thing that they do after brushing the teeth is wishing Good Morning on WhatsApp. We share memories , present problems and sometimes fight as if life has transported us in time back three and a half decades. And gloat over splinter reunion pictures and dream of a grand reunion some day !

Saturday, 3 May 2014

Digital Trail

The other day I had an experience which began all and sundry. I am a member of a professional network on internet and like all other networks, this gives continuous recommendations of adding someone else to your network.
They pop out of nowhere every time I Iog in.  Mugshots of people whom I know or once knew and also of some I have never seen come on the screen much like the Wanted column of newspapers ! Honestly it is a little irritating but at times but it does lead to getting connected to someone whom we really need.
I had logged on to this portal and these so-called recommendations for joining the network started popping out. Suddenly one such recommendation made me freeze. A face, familiar came out with the name and last held position etc. All this was fine. The only thing out of place was that this particular ex-colleague of mine had passed away some months back (God rest his soul in peace !).
It was such an eerie moment or two when I looked at the screen and wondered. What happens to us with all our digital trail when we move to the next world ? How does this digital trail get cleaned up ?
And do these departed souls get networked to each other in the next world ?
Definitely, maybe…………


Saturday, 26 April 2014

Icons

What is common between Dettol , Cadbury, Lux, Surf, Colgate, Burnol ? Well a concoction of all these will be pretty funny to say the least.
These are all brands with which I grew up in seventies and eighties and these brands are still as relevant as they were. In fact they have assumed a generic state. In villages and small towns Colgate is the synonym of toothpaste and the actual toothpaste being used may be of some other make but it is still referred to as Colgate. Same goes for Lux and Surf when it comes to cleaning self or cleaning clothes.
Dettol is the first first-aid that we all come to terms with. And for a small burn, I never knew in those days any other substitute of Burnol.
And when it comes to chocolate, in my childhood did not know of any other chocolate which was not a Cadbury. A Cadbury was for small joys, for small celebrations like scoring good marks in exams, for birthdays et al. I recall one Geography teacher made us memorize the capitals of various countries and in the impromptu test at class the best three crackers got a Cadbury each. I was also one of the recipients once and I still remember the capitals of the countries fairly well even today.
In those days the Cadbury came more or less in one packaging- the standard violet one with Dairy Milk Chocolate written on it. A few years down the line came the other variants in other colours and tastes.
Today we know that Cadbury has been sold off and the company renamed to Mondelez. Currently the brand names will remain is what we are told.
However some years down the line will the small town grocer be asked by a child for a Cadbury or a Mondelez chocolate ? Only time will tell.….! But they have been icons in their own right !



Friday, 19 July 2013

Pollution Tax for Politicos

Today morning the newspaper headlines scream that one of the top office bearers of one of the top national parties have stated that English is the main reason of the doom of this country. Almost every other day some politician or the other will make such inane , stupid , imbecile statement and now with the elections round the corner the frequency of these will increasingly increase. Of course after each statement there will be some debate and there will be another statement stating that he/she has been quoted out of context.

The fallout ? We waste newsprint (ie cut more trees) , spend more electricity while showing the news and the debate that follows on TV (ie burn more coal, gas whatever) to bring these inane, stupid, imbecile, useless, non-sensical statements to the masses and then retract creating useless and needless tension and stress. Only to then wait for the next one.

Due to this, actual issues that the country is plagued with is swept under the carpet. Why then should our great politicos not pay a pollution tax (sound pollution is the very least of the problems that they are creating by this...) for this farce ? They should pay this every time they open their mouth in front of the gaping media and since they open their mouth much more often that they deserve to do , they should pay an annual tax like poor salaried guys like us pay income tax. 

Ok, Mr.PC, when can we hear about this tax scheme then ?

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

Still there is hope

I had taken a virtual hiatus from writing on this blog.

Partly because of pressures of earning the daily bread and partly because after reading the newspaper in the morning and watching the news in the evening, the mind used to be almost toxic with the unending series of scams- of yet another useless politician swindling people’s money and being unabashed about it or yet another sordid case of rape of a hapless young girl, of some crocodile tears by our powerful ministers ( that would make even a crocodile squirm with jealousy).

Today morning seems to be bright. Two news items caught my attention.

Newspaper vendor from Bangalore walks into IIM-Calcutta

Sruthy Susan Ullas


BANGALORE: As the alarm goes off at 4am, N Shiva Kumar is up on his feet, stacking his bicycle with newspapers. He has to deliver them before the sun appears on the horizon. A habit since Class 6, Shiva's life is set to change now. Come June 16, this newspaper-boy-turned-vendor will walk down the corridors of the Indian Institute of Management-Calcutta as a PGP student……..


Rickshaw driver returns Rs 1.90 crore cheque


AHMEDABAD: An Ahmedabad auto rickshaw driver has returned Rs 1.90 crore cheque issued in his name in lieu of three bigha land acquired for Tata's Nano plant in Sanand.

Raju Bharwad could have pocketed the sum, but gave an undertaking that he was no longer the land owner. He ensured that the names of the new owners are entered in the official records……


After reading these two articles, I feel that still there is hope for this country, our utterly worthless political class and the widespread corruption notwithstanding.

Maybe I am yet another glazy eyed optimist, but unless we are optimists, can we make things change in this garbage dump that this country has been led to ?